Nostalgia Engulfed...

I know the title doesn't really fit, I know the world is an unfair place and I know we get way too many sad moments compared to the happy ones. But then its all in our head. We can live through the sorrow if we just make up our mind and find happiness in silly, little things around us. I remember back in the tenth standard when I had gone on a school excursion, it was freezing in Nainital, and I just had one new sweater with me which turned out to be no good. So a very good friend, had advised me to just think that it wasn't cold, and it actually did work. So when our mind is capable of adapting to actual, physical conditions the way we want to, why not do the same with our emotions? I know what you're thinking. That it's all bullshit, that you can't just make things go your way. That it hurts when you see him with her whatever you try to think. That you still prefer the pain over happiness because it symbolises something. That its all big talk and in the end none...

I just read an awesome blog so I wanted to write, plus its been long, really long. I've always had a hard time with endings. Its not so much about something not existing anymore, rather about missing the essence of something that made your life concrete. Sixteen days from now, my college life comes to an end. Unlike school, where the feeling sunk in after I had already passed a year at college, this ending really stings. Firstly because I didn't interact with people for seven hours a day but actually lived with them. I shared happiness over innumerable cups of coffee. I woke up to the tunes of 'Kolaveri Di', kicking and screaming at my roommates to wake up and rush to the exam hall after having slept for just an hour. I shed silent tears at the window a few late nights and looked to my best friend to hug me amidst violent sobs a few other times. Being a person who has the emotional comfort level of about zero and is awkward around people by default, I actually made pe...

Out of the hundreds of feelings you’ll come across in your human life, its betrayal that would sting the most. Nothing compares to that ache you feel right after you've been back stabbed. The struggle to pacify your wounds, the heartbreak, its all too unbearable to be put into words. That’s how she was feeling at that very instant. Betrayed . For the tenth time, her best friend Priyasha tried to reason with her. "I’m just trying to avoid conflict, its nothing personal." She silenced herself after seeing the unspoken yet unmistakable anger in her eyes. Its not reason she needed, but vengeance, thoughtless vengeance. Priyasha could see it in the way her brows furrowed, and her nostrils flared. She had seen Natasha mad before, but this time was different. Her pretty face was transformed, she was almost unrecognizable. This time, she had resolved not to listen. Exasperated, Priyasha tried one last time. She held her hand and started speaking, calmly yet confidently. ...

I wake up in the middle of the night, disoriented, expecting to find a study table next to my bed, my Pooh cushion somewhere nearby and my laptop next to my pillow streaming downloads. Instead I'm lying in a double bed, diagonally nonetheless, hogging as much space as a slender twenty-one year old kid like me possibly can. I unlock my phone screen, blink twice to adjust my eyes to its brightness and look at the time. Its literally the middle of the night, three am on the dot. I try to think what woke me up. The last thing I can remember before I drifted off to restless dreamland is my choked nose. I remember skipping dinner to my parents' utter dislike, but the cold made me want to rest more than anything else, more than wanting to have home-made food. I detest going to see a doctor, so I tend to ignore trivial ailments like a common cold (too common in my case, gets invited every time the weather changes) like they are ladybugs on a flower. Creepy, red with black polka d...

A smile can speak a thousand things if you just pay enough attention. Especially with girls! They say girls are complicated, true, no more than guys though. So anyway, its true what they say about girls never really speaking their mind. But if you just looked at her smile, you'd know what she's really thinking. At first sight, its just a plain old smile.. think again, its not. With girls, there are a thousand different kinds of smiles. There are few which might appear often. There's that one smile which will always steal your heart. It spreads wide across her face and makes her eyes crinkle and shine. Its the one most easily recognised yet the rarest of them all. Its the 'ecstatic' smile, the real deal. If you can make her smile like that, she probably trusts you and is actually happy about having you around. Then there's the other kind, that doesn't reach her eyes, one where she seems to be smiling but her eyes say otherwise. Its the sad smile, she...

She fidgeted with her hands, traced the green nail paint on her finger nails. Then she took another look at the clock's hands, just about five minutes had passed since she last did that. The clock made its signature tick-tock-tick sounds but it still gave her no comfort, the time just wasn't passing soon enough. "Nine thirty-five", she murmured to herself with a sigh, and started locking and unlocking her phone screen repeatedly. Anything to take her mind off of the pressure she was under right then. After another minute, she couldn't take it anymore, she looked at the five other anxious faces in the room and another bored one, then swiftly walked out of the conference hall that was allotted to her as a waiting room. She stepped onto the balcony-like pathway that joined two blocks of the same building, slightly higher than the ground floor level. She walked a few steps then leaned on the railing. The cold breeze made her shiver and she wrapped her arms aroun...

Its been a long, long time since I last wrote and believe me I've had my reasons. Its been a really stressful time and it has completely drained me of all the patience I had. For the last few months, everything that I've wanted has had waiting as a prerequisite. Although it sounds pretty mainstream, patience is not an easily acquired trait. Waiting for long hours, days and nights, months at large.. just to get one glimpse of what you want, just to get that one shimmering, glittering smile on your face. The end result sure is mesmerising but the process it takes you through can be really testing. Now that I have the one thing I've wanted for a really long time, and my path ahead looks a little bit clearer, I can't help but wonder how getting the mother of all stresses off my mind might also be a dreadful thing. Since the last couple of days, my mind has been really, really hard to restrain. I'm a rebel in my truest form. I do what I'm told not to, I do what...