Nostalgia Engulfed...

I woke up this morning thinking about writing this post because I couldn’t fathom how one year we were going crazy with friendship bands, everything was simpler, love was friendship, movies were influential and then I wake up today and it’s a pretty normal day. Also I wanted to try out my cute new keyboard which otherwise seems like money not so pragmatically spent. I wanted to reminisce a little bit about all the different kinds of friends I’ve had over the years. The one you rang first on the landline every time you got the tiniest bit of gossip. The one you went running around the school playground with, jumping off corridors as your fancy birthday dress flew up in frilly cuteness. The one you spent hours with coming up with numbers to cryptic-name your multiple crushes/persons of interest. The same one you found sitting on the first bench after assembly, new to school but so old and wise beyond her age (still). The ones you keep thinking you’ve said goodbye to but they keep coming ...

  It has been a year and a half since I last wrote anything, well, significant. (Coincidentally, also the exact age of my dog.) So I figured it was time to get out all the stupid. Here goes nothing. He’s twenty eight, almost twenty nine. January has always been a difficult month, it’s been the month of departures in his life. Most people are excited about the hope January brings with it, he’s terrifyingly cautious of the signs it brings - of people leaving, of things changing, and basically everything going to shit. His fears are not unfounded, he’s not a vague person like that. He’s seen things happen, he’s felt things hurt and he’s experienced darkness in its complete, mystifying totality. People think he's naïve, his problems self-made but tell that to the spiraling tornado in his head that won't quit screaming. Fast forward to two years later, it's his thirtieth birthday eve. He grew up celebrating and anticipating this month, now he plans to sleep well before midnight....

 Remember. The first time you held a mic and heard your voice boom. Remember the genius you carried in that little head of yours. Remember how the words just flew and remember how they've never failed you since. Remember when you were eight and had a tiny party in your class with all your tiny classmates. Remember the butterfly wings on your back and the irony that they scare you. Remember the tiny best friend that would come running each time classes broke just to sit with you and watch you not eat your lunch. Remember when you were twelve and you had friends you could count off on your fingers but also remember the adoration that came your way from the other young adults. Remember the moving proses, summer reading and the fierce, fierce intent to win at everything. Remember when you were sixteen and you could charm people who didn't know you. Remember the stark, silent nights with your lamp on, multiple mugs of coffee, colourful highlighters and the sheer ability to wake up e...

Here is a bouquet of little pick-me-ups to make you feel better when you're having a bad day. Seeing how this year has been a gold mine in that regard, I'd consider starring this one. Spending hours in a day reading long, painfully typed text messages from your friend who's giving you a play by play, processed, eight year old friendly version of that horror show that is deeply intriguing but you're too scared to watch, even if it makes sleeping more difficult than it already is Dreaming about familiar places - a bench on the school playground, a milestone on the highway, nani ghar in summers, that nook in your old room that you used to hide in under the bed with a book and a torch after it was dark Watching Wake Up Sid with your best friend, after having a long, excruciating week, stuffing your face with momos, following it up with good wine, forgetting everything you've been trying to forget and passing out happy in the middle of the movie Smoke breaks in between w...

He nudged her to bring her out of her reverie. She was lost again, zoned out, overthinking. "Penny for  your thoughts? Or do you want it to be punny?" She laughed in that way she only laughed with him and broke out of her spell. It was easy being around him, effortless. It didn't matter what she had to do to be near him or how many intolerable yet genius puns she had to endure to hear him giggle at his own damn jokes. Maybe that's exactly why she couldn't describe what about him made her happy. She had been asked that often, a lot, really. And she couldn't figure out how anybody who knew him even the tiniest bit couldn't understand it. It felt natural for her to gravitate towards him because he was it. Not in the epic love story and grand gestures way but just the I-can-just-be-myself-around-you-and-you-put-me-at-ease way. She was wound up and every year of her life and every incident that came along with it had built her up a nice, cosy layered wall tha...

She opened her eyes and peeked at the light seeping in through the curtains. The light didn't wake her, her thoughts did. She tried to get up, but couldn't, her legs seemed incapable of moving. It was cold and it made her want to curl up inside her blanket and never wake up. She glanced at her Kindle, lying two feet away from her. She thought of the book that she'd been dying to read a month ago. And then she thought about how she hadn't been able to read in days. She tried to sit up and look at the sun - absorb some of its magnificent energy to be able to get on with her day. She thought about what lay ahead of her for the day. Meetings, unnecessary stress, disappointment and waiting - a whole lot of waiting for someone who couldn't care less. She closed her eyes to push her thoughts away and before she knew it, she was asleep again. She woke up in the middle of the day to realise she's missed work, work calls and more contact from people who didn't matt...