Skip to main content

||Just another day..

She opened her eyes and peeked at the light seeping in through the curtains.
The light didn't wake her, her thoughts did.
She tried to get up, but couldn't, her legs seemed incapable of moving. It was cold and it made her want to curl up inside her blanket and never wake up. She glanced at her Kindle, lying two feet away from her. She thought of the book that she'd been dying to read a month ago. And then she thought about how she hadn't been able to read in days. She tried to sit up and look at the sun - absorb some of its magnificent energy to be able to get on with her day.
She thought about what lay ahead of her for the day. Meetings, unnecessary stress, disappointment and waiting - a whole lot of waiting for someone who couldn't care less. She closed her eyes to push her thoughts away and before she knew it, she was asleep again. She woke up in the middle of the day to realise she's missed work, work calls and more contact from people who didn't matter. Those who did (at least to her) were still nowhere to be found. She covered up her eyes with her blanket to push the thoughts of work away.
She woke up in the evening, a slow, burning temperature heating up her body, trying to make her aware that she was ignoring it. The grumbling sounds in her stomach made her realise she was hungry. She went back to sleep to avoid listening to them. The next time she woke, it was ten at night. It was high time. She checked her phone to realise she still came last. She tried her breathing exercises, tried to focus on the positives, clearly not many. She saw the couple of missed calls that were from home, switched her phone off to avoid calling back and hearing the disappointment in her parents' voice and went back to sleep again. Amid all the chaos that surrounded her, she felt she deserved a day of feeling nothing - nothing at all. So she closed her eyes again, hoping that the next time she opened them, she'd feel a little more wanted and a little more alive.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

||Labels..

'Introvert!' 'She's not much of a people person.' 'He's weird.' 'Annoying.' 'Perfect!' How dare you? How dare you limit an entire person, his whole life, her complete individuality to a single word? How do you describe a person you have barely, superficially known for only a chunk of his lifetime in a few, simple words? Is this why we have eulogies? To make up for all the limiting things we say about people when they're alive. Is it a way to apologise for trying to put down a number on the distance between their being and the horizon? Are we trying to make up for the infinite possibility in them that we carelessly ignore? 'How would you describe your personality?' 'I'm lazy. I prefer pulling up my blanket to turning off the fan 'cause the switch isn't an arm's length away. I put down books when I don't love them anymore because they remind me of how my preferences change....

||Fall, Comfort Shows and Escapism..

As I find myself three seasons into my favourite show again, I involuntarily see the patterns and lack thereof every time I’m inclined to watch it.  Gilmore Girls. If you seek me out on a random day and ask me my favorite show, you may never get the same answer twice. I don’t like being held down to favorites and my mood swings like a chandelier most days. But if you ask me which show I gravitate towards most, this is the one I’ll quote. If you see me talking in weird phrases and references that don’t make sense, this show is the culprit. Having watched it over 7 times in just 3 years, it amazes me how I’ve watched F.R.I.E.N.D.S. way less times even though it might be the show I look to for comfort. If you ask me what I watch when I’m sad, I’d probably say This is Us. Somewhere between the spectrum where one end is F.R.I.E.N.D.S. and the other This is Us, smushed between How I Met Your Mother, Suits, The Office, New Girl, and a number of other shows I like to rewatch, is Gilmore Gi...

||Friends? Sure..

I woke up this morning thinking about writing this post because I couldn’t fathom how one year we were going crazy with friendship bands, everything was simpler, love was friendship, movies were influential and then I wake up today and it’s a pretty normal day. Also I wanted to try out my cute new keyboard which otherwise seems like money not so pragmatically spent. I wanted to reminisce a little bit about all the different kinds of friends I’ve had over the years. The one you rang first on the landline every time you got the tiniest bit of gossip. The one you went running around the school playground with, jumping off corridors as your fancy birthday dress flew up in frilly cuteness. The one you spent hours with coming up with numbers to cryptic-name your multiple crushes/persons of interest. The same one you found sitting on the first bench after assembly, new to school but so old and wise beyond her age (still). The ones you keep thinking you’ve said goodbye to but they keep coming ...