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||Dear dilemma..



I was going through your pictures, your texts, your IMs and I realised I missed you. I also realised I shouldn't. Its hard without you, without someone who made me take things a little lightly when I was all stressed out. Now without you, I'm bursting at the seams. I would be lying if I said I got over you the moment I deleted your numbers, because I kind of have them memorised, because when I was deleting some old pictures, I had to halt at one of yours.

I'm not framing these words to make you realise how much you hurt me, but because I need you to know. I needed you to know then and I told you what you meant to me through my words. And I need you to know now, that however strong I act, a tear reaches my eyes as soon as I see you. I need you to know that your voice makes me break down and I need you to know that I'm too weak to face you now. Because its all in my eyes, all the pain, the longing, its all there. One look, and my eyes would give me away. Understand that I can never hate you and know that I can't try any more because I don't want to feel weak ever again.

There's a void in my life now and I know no one will ever be able to take your place. Trust me, I've tried. I look around and find every place here has a memory. Every little thing reminds me of you. I listen to people talking and get caught on words you always used. I miss the silly banters which made no sense to anyone but us. I miss that I can't tell you I miss you anymore because I've given up. Although its easier said than done. Somewhere there's still that flicker of hope that one day you'll look back, you'll realise what changed, the day you wouldn't have to ask me for answers, you'll know! The day you'll realise they weren't just song lyrics, when you'll know all those statuses were for you, when you'll feel the pain you've caused and come rushing back.

But of course, its all a daydream, because you'll never look beyond those eyes that caught your attention ever again. I'll be waiting though, I just wish you realise before I really do give up on you. Because boy, I'm sure no one ever loved someone the way I love you.

#hypothetical :)

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