She opened her eyes and peeked at the light seeping in through the curtains.
The light didn't wake her, her thoughts did.
She tried to get up, but couldn't, her legs seemed incapable of moving. It was cold and it made her want to curl up inside her blanket and never wake up. She glanced at her Kindle, lying two feet away from her. She thought of the book that she'd been dying to read a month ago. And then she thought about how she hadn't been able to read in days. She tried to sit up and look at the sun - absorb some of its magnificent energy to be able to get on with her day.
She thought about what lay ahead of her for the day. Meetings, unnecessary stress, disappointment and waiting - a whole lot of waiting for someone who couldn't care less. She closed her eyes to push her thoughts away and before she knew it, she was asleep again. She woke up in the middle of the day to realise she's missed work, work calls and more contact from people who didn't matter. Those who did (at least to her) were still nowhere to be found. She covered up her eyes with her blanket to push the thoughts of work away.
She woke up in the evening, a slow, burning temperature heating up her body, trying to make her aware that she was ignoring it. The grumbling sounds in her stomach made her realise she was hungry. She went back to sleep to avoid listening to them. The next time she woke, it was ten at night. It was high time. She checked her phone to realise she still came last. She tried her breathing exercises, tried to focus on the positives, clearly not many. She saw the couple of missed calls that were from home, switched her phone off to avoid calling back and hearing the disappointment in her parents' voice and went back to sleep again. Amid all the chaos that surrounded her, she felt she deserved a day of feeling nothing - nothing at all. So she closed her eyes again, hoping that the next time she opened them, she'd feel a little more wanted and a little more alive.
The light didn't wake her, her thoughts did.
She tried to get up, but couldn't, her legs seemed incapable of moving. It was cold and it made her want to curl up inside her blanket and never wake up. She glanced at her Kindle, lying two feet away from her. She thought of the book that she'd been dying to read a month ago. And then she thought about how she hadn't been able to read in days. She tried to sit up and look at the sun - absorb some of its magnificent energy to be able to get on with her day.
She thought about what lay ahead of her for the day. Meetings, unnecessary stress, disappointment and waiting - a whole lot of waiting for someone who couldn't care less. She closed her eyes to push her thoughts away and before she knew it, she was asleep again. She woke up in the middle of the day to realise she's missed work, work calls and more contact from people who didn't matter. Those who did (at least to her) were still nowhere to be found. She covered up her eyes with her blanket to push the thoughts of work away.
She woke up in the evening, a slow, burning temperature heating up her body, trying to make her aware that she was ignoring it. The grumbling sounds in her stomach made her realise she was hungry. She went back to sleep to avoid listening to them. The next time she woke, it was ten at night. It was high time. She checked her phone to realise she still came last. She tried her breathing exercises, tried to focus on the positives, clearly not many. She saw the couple of missed calls that were from home, switched her phone off to avoid calling back and hearing the disappointment in her parents' voice and went back to sleep again. Amid all the chaos that surrounded her, she felt she deserved a day of feeling nothing - nothing at all. So she closed her eyes again, hoping that the next time she opened them, she'd feel a little more wanted and a little more alive.
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