||Fall, Comfort Shows and Escapism..

As I find myself three seasons into my favourite show again, I involuntarily see the patterns and lack thereof every time I’m inclined to watch it. 

Gilmore Girls.

If you seek me out on a random day and ask me my favorite show, you may never get the same answer twice. I don’t like being held down to favorites and my mood swings like a chandelier most days. But if you ask me which show I gravitate towards most, this is the one I’ll quote. If you see me talking in weird phrases and references that don’t make sense, this show is the culprit. Having watched it over 7 times in just 3 years, it amazes me how I’ve watched F.R.I.E.N.D.S. way less times even though it might be the show I look to for comfort. If you ask me what I watch when I’m sad, I’d probably say This is Us. Somewhere between the spectrum where one end is F.R.I.E.N.D.S. and the other This is Us, smushed between How I Met Your Mother, Suits, The Office, New Girl, and a number of other shows I like to rewatch, is Gilmore Girls.

Patterns.

More solitude than longing. More wistful than sad. Feeling stuck. 66% regret, 33% nostalgia and a dash of  what is happening? Cold weather - looking for warm, cosy comfort shows. Finding myself in the same place I was in when I watched it for the first time. History repeating itself. Foreseeing history repeating itself. Avoidance, complacence, ignorance is bliss. The incessant need to shut up inside my head. The incessant urge to scream into the void.

But not completely the same.

Team Dean/Jess/Logan/Rory. Different every time. Hating the character a little more incrementally with each time, the character for which I started watching in the first place. Catching a new reference each time. Relating with a character one rewatch and then not so much the next. The music relating to different things with every rewatch. Coffee coffee coffee - finding a different stance each time.