He withdrew from the beach after a while, smiling as he saw his friends having fun like kids. It was amusing to him how alcohol sometimes worked as a truth serum, bringing out the truest child within each person. He turned back and started walking towards the girl who was with them only in the physical sense of the words. Her mind, as anyone could clearly tell, was elsewhere. He went and sat next to her, silently watching and trying to demystify this person who sat next to him. Every time he had tried to do that in the past, he had discovered there were far too many layers to her personality for anyone to be able to understand her at all. He watched as her fingers thrummed against her knees, playing to some music on her mind. Her hands were.. interesting, to say the least. She had those long fingers that artists are known to have, with rings on way too many fingers. She wore some junky bracelets on her left wrist, beneath which he could see faint scars peeking out. Her right wrist was in stark contrast to her left, pale and bare, the visible green nerves tempted him to trace them, or maybe just feel her pulse.
Then he looked at her face, it had a wistful smile which she probably wasn't even aware of, but it looked like it belonged there. She was looking almost unblinkingly towards the horizon which he realised as he followed her gaze. Her fingers continued to thrum and fidget, giving away her restlessness. "You really don't want to be here, do you?" He finally spoke out. She probably realised him saying something and offered an earpiece to him - "You want?" He took it nonetheless, half relieved she hadn't heard, half curious still wanting to know.
"We found wonderland, you and I got lost in it.. and life was never worse but never better.. "
"I don't mind being here." She said. He was glad she was actually answering. "I mean, it's a soothing place, it clears my head. It's just so amazing nobody in their right minds wouldn't want to come. But then you weren't really asking that, were you? You were asking if I wanted to be here with those drunks over there, who probably don't even have the sense to appreciate the serenity of this place right now. For them this is just a place to hang out for now, the beauty of it doesn't really matter. I know you're going to think that I have some sort of prejudice against people drinking, or just even having fun, but I don't, I really don't. I just don't get the point of it all. They say when you're high, you're your truest self, but what if that is the blindest you can be?" She finally looked at him, finding a mixture of shock, surprise, disbelief and a few other things she couldn't recognise reflecting on his face.
She took the cigarette out of his hand and took a couple drags. "Hypocrite!"- he snorted. "I WANT to be blind. There's a difference." She grinned.
He sat there, hearing her say all this and realising with each word, how different they were. At the same time he was amazed to discover that even though they had entirely different view points about almost everything under the sun, he could actually understand hers, maybe not accept it, but definitely understand it. This had never happened before and it stuck with him. He heard her continue - "Please understand that I'm not saying I don't like these people. I like these guys, I like being with them but that's about as close as I'll ever come to friendship. I don't get the point of 'loving' your 'friends' if it's just been a few weeks since you met. And anyway, I'm not a people person, never have been." She paused for a while and he could tell her mind had gone back to something, a memory maybe.
"Won't you.. Stay with me.. 'Cause you're.. all I need.."
She thought of that conversation - "I'd rather be a loner than have friends always ready to backstab me at the first opportunity they get." "I know you're angry but maybe you should rethink it. I've always been a loner and it's not that easy." "If you can do it, so can I. At least I have you. I can live with that." "You do have me. Always."
"Liar!"- Her mind whispered.
He saw the expressions change on her face, but the mask was back before he could make any sense of them. She started speaking again - "So all I'm saying is, if worse comes to worst, I could live without them. Except you. But then that's just because you get all my jokes." She flashed him a smile and he could tell that it was one of the few genuine ones that she rarely spared. He laughed and tried his best not to hug her and tell her it'll all be okay. She seemed strong enough to handle whatever it was she was going through.
She turned her face towards the horizon again lest she give in and lean on his shoulders. She was right where she loved to be - at the edge of the cliff, where resisting was the hardest. She wanted the free fall but she wouldn't give in. The adrenaline was tempting but she didn't want to lose control of herself - to him, or to her heart. She had left her reckless self behind and she knew the price that had to be paid for giving in.
They sat there for a while, feet dangling from the platform, the sun coming up on the horizon beautifully. It was one of those moments nature engineers for falling in love and they were no exceptions. They were just too stubborn to give in to what they felt. Their hearts were flight risks and they were too much of control freaks to relent. Even Marine Drive couldn't change that.
Then he looked at her face, it had a wistful smile which she probably wasn't even aware of, but it looked like it belonged there. She was looking almost unblinkingly towards the horizon which he realised as he followed her gaze. Her fingers continued to thrum and fidget, giving away her restlessness. "You really don't want to be here, do you?" He finally spoke out. She probably realised him saying something and offered an earpiece to him - "You want?" He took it nonetheless, half relieved she hadn't heard, half curious still wanting to know.
"We found wonderland, you and I got lost in it.. and life was never worse but never better.. "
"I don't mind being here." She said. He was glad she was actually answering. "I mean, it's a soothing place, it clears my head. It's just so amazing nobody in their right minds wouldn't want to come. But then you weren't really asking that, were you? You were asking if I wanted to be here with those drunks over there, who probably don't even have the sense to appreciate the serenity of this place right now. For them this is just a place to hang out for now, the beauty of it doesn't really matter. I know you're going to think that I have some sort of prejudice against people drinking, or just even having fun, but I don't, I really don't. I just don't get the point of it all. They say when you're high, you're your truest self, but what if that is the blindest you can be?" She finally looked at him, finding a mixture of shock, surprise, disbelief and a few other things she couldn't recognise reflecting on his face.
She took the cigarette out of his hand and took a couple drags. "Hypocrite!"- he snorted. "I WANT to be blind. There's a difference." She grinned.
He sat there, hearing her say all this and realising with each word, how different they were. At the same time he was amazed to discover that even though they had entirely different view points about almost everything under the sun, he could actually understand hers, maybe not accept it, but definitely understand it. This had never happened before and it stuck with him. He heard her continue - "Please understand that I'm not saying I don't like these people. I like these guys, I like being with them but that's about as close as I'll ever come to friendship. I don't get the point of 'loving' your 'friends' if it's just been a few weeks since you met. And anyway, I'm not a people person, never have been." She paused for a while and he could tell her mind had gone back to something, a memory maybe.
"Won't you.. Stay with me.. 'Cause you're.. all I need.."
She thought of that conversation - "I'd rather be a loner than have friends always ready to backstab me at the first opportunity they get." "I know you're angry but maybe you should rethink it. I've always been a loner and it's not that easy." "If you can do it, so can I. At least I have you. I can live with that." "You do have me. Always."
"Liar!"- Her mind whispered.
He saw the expressions change on her face, but the mask was back before he could make any sense of them. She started speaking again - "So all I'm saying is, if worse comes to worst, I could live without them. Except you. But then that's just because you get all my jokes." She flashed him a smile and he could tell that it was one of the few genuine ones that she rarely spared. He laughed and tried his best not to hug her and tell her it'll all be okay. She seemed strong enough to handle whatever it was she was going through.
She turned her face towards the horizon again lest she give in and lean on his shoulders. She was right where she loved to be - at the edge of the cliff, where resisting was the hardest. She wanted the free fall but she wouldn't give in. The adrenaline was tempting but she didn't want to lose control of herself - to him, or to her heart. She had left her reckless self behind and she knew the price that had to be paid for giving in.
They sat there for a while, feet dangling from the platform, the sun coming up on the horizon beautifully. It was one of those moments nature engineers for falling in love and they were no exceptions. They were just too stubborn to give in to what they felt. Their hearts were flight risks and they were too much of control freaks to relent. Even Marine Drive couldn't change that.
I read a blog for two reasons. To just see how nicely the words fall into place, like they were meant to be sown together like that. And Second because the blog brings out a side of an author that may be no one knows about
ReplyDeleteThis one, had both. And I loved it. Keep writing. I wait for updates.