||Betrayal stings..

Out of the hundreds of feelings you’ll come across in your human life, its betrayal that would sting the most. Nothing compares to that ache you feel right after you've been back stabbed. The struggle to pacify your wounds, the heartbreak, its all too unbearable to be put into words. That’s how she was feeling at that very instant. Betrayed.

For the tenth time, her best friend Priyasha tried to reason with her. "I’m just trying to avoid conflict, its nothing personal." She silenced herself after seeing the unspoken yet unmistakable anger in her eyes. Its not reason she needed, but vengeance, thoughtless vengeance. Priyasha could see it in the way her brows furrowed, and her nostrils flared. She had seen Natasha mad before, but this time was different. Her pretty face was transformed, she was almost unrecognizable. This time, she had resolved not to listen.

Exasperated, Priyasha tried one last time. She held her hand and started speaking, calmly yet confidently. “I know he hurt you Nats and I know you’re mad at him. I also know you’re mad at all your friends because they can ignore what he did to you and go on like nothing happened. I know you’re mad at me too. And I know you’re right from where you stand. But you have to understand. We’ve all been friends for almost a decade now. I’m not just your friend, but his too. And so are your other friends. Its not fair on your part to expect everyone to just dump all their memories because something went wrong between you too.” Then looking cautiously at Natasha, she took a slow, deep breath.

Natasha stirred. She hadn’t realized she had been sitting so still all this while. Then she slowly turned to look at Priyasha. And then she spoke all she had wanted to for so long.

“I know you feel its unfair, but its not. He broke my trust, broke my heart. Not just me, he also messed with our friendship. He kissed you and I was standing just a few feet away. I saw you kiss him back. I know that you must love him to have hurt me so deeply. What I don’t understand is, why would he say he loved me five minutes before I saw him kissing you. I don’t ask you to leave him because I love him, not because we've been together for seven years and not because you’re my best friend. I expected you to be mad at him because he cheated. He cheated on me with you, my best friend.”

“I know love numbs all other senses but you must be pretty blind to see what’s going on here. I’m not like you, Priyasha, and you know that. We've known each other our entire lives and you brought him and me together seven years ago. You've known me all this while and you know I’m not a person who just forgets what happened, forgives the people involved, and moves on. I’m the kind to hold grudges, to make people pay for whatever wrong they do to me. And I don’t stop till I've had my vengeance, and its sad, really sad to think that this time, along with him, you are going to be on the receiving end.”

With that, she stormed out of the room and banged the door shut, leaving Priyasha behind in tears. It was the first time in fifteen years someone had come between them, and a guy no less. They had known each other since they were six and had studied in the same school. They had shared lunches, dresses, secrets and what not. They had consoled each other and laughed with each other. They had been the best of friends from the moment they met. Their friendship had been the subject of envy for many, yet no one had ever been able to break their friendship. Until now.

Furious, and with her heart still aching, Natasha got into her car and started to drive back home. She turned on the stereo and fiddled with the buttons absent-mindedly. She stopped at the track Ritwik had made her for her thirteenth birthday. He had always been a sweet kid. He had joined their school in standard eight, when his family had moved from Jamshedpur to Mumbai. From the moment she’d seen him, she’d had eyes only for him. For her friends and Priyasha, it was just puppy love. But she knew it had been love at first sight. Ritwik had walked up to her on his first day to school and asked her to be his friend with that charming smile that had stolen her heart. His confidence and charisma had swept her off her feet.

Priyasha had been concerned about how this would affect their friendship but had never brought it up. She had felt her hesitation and her heart had rebelled. It was the urge to prove her wrong, to prove that their friendship could survive everything, that she had went on falling for Ritwik despite Priyasha's silent pleas. After a while, Ritwik had won Priyasha over too, and they had become the three musketeers among their gang. Their friendship grew stronger with every passing day, and on her sixteenth birthday, Ritwik had confessed he liked her. A lot. She had told him she felt likewise. From then on Ritwik and Natasha never looked back. They were very much in love and everyone could tell, even their families. But they were perfect for each other and their parents saw it too.

Natasha’s reverie was broken when she reached home. She parked the car in the garage and ran upstairs to her room, finally breaking down in tears. She locked her room from the inside and went to sit by the window. Her room was an apt expression of who she was – a little sensitive but very headstrong. Her room was colored in shades of baby pink and pistachio green. A wardrobe spanned an entire wall and the French windows, another. Her room was filled with books, she loved to read. And her wardrobe had more shoes than dresses. She was a shopaholic and her wardrobe had all the signs.

Her gaze drifted to the wall above her bed. It was filled with pictures of her and Priyasha. And him. Pictures of all of them bowling, making funny faces at each other, of Ritwik looking at her with that signature look of his and a crooked smile while she laughed. There was also a picture of her and Priyasha on her seventh birthday, the first of the several she had celebrated with her. They stood smiley-faced in cute frocks, with two fronth teeth missing from both their jaws. She stood up and went to look at the pictures up close, her tears out of her control. Her attention was caught by a recent picture, not from more than six months ago, the three of them together having the first drinks of their lives.

She held a glass of red wine in her hand, her cheeks flushed and head resting on Ritwik’s shoulder. Ritwik, who held a beer, had eyes only for her. She was surprised as she noticed for the first time, the way Priyasha looked at Ritwik in the picture, her glass of wine untouched and on the table. The pain in her eyes was almost tangible. The shock that settled in Natasha’s heart was sudden but heavy. All this time? She wondered. 

She was distracted by her ringing phone. She picked it up to see it was an incoming call from Ritwik. After a few seconds, she answered the call. “Hello?” “Hey..hey Natasha.. listen to me.” His voice sounded pained, and she almost believed it was real. After a moment of remaining silent, he continued “Actually.. I can’t defend myself after what happened. I just want you to know that I still love you and it was.. it was something I can’t explain. What you saw, it’s killing me that it happened and I.. I wasn’t thinking straight and she was talking about us and how great we were together and.. and she suddenly turned to me and kissed me. I didn’t.. I was drunk Natasha, you have to believe me. I feel nothing for her, I’ve always seen her as my friend..just a friend! This is so messed up.. would you let me in? I’m standing right outside baby, just.. just let me in.. let me talk to you. I will make it all go away..” His voice trailed off. After a while, he almost whispered helplessly, “Say something.. anything..”

Natasha was at the window, looking outside, seeing him talk to her on the phone, one hand in his hair, his eyes red and puffed up, he looked like hell but still adorable. She smiled, a wistful smile that didn’t reach her eyes. She opened the door to the balcony and stepped outside. The air was cold, almost as cold as her heart felt. She walked dangerously close to the railing and Ritwik’s eyes turned cautious. “Natasha.. Natasha come downstairs baby, let me in. I know I’m awful and I don’t deserve you but you don’t deserve this pain either. Let me make it go away. Come downstairs.. we can work this out.” He almost pleaded.

“I know how to make it go away, Ritwik.” She smiled that same smile. “I’m coming.”

And then she jumped.