Skip to main content

||Out of Patience..



Its been a long, long time since I last wrote and believe me I've had my reasons. Its been a really stressful time and it has completely drained me of all the patience I had. For the last few months, everything that I've wanted has had waiting as a prerequisite. Although it sounds pretty mainstream, patience is not an easily acquired trait. Waiting for long hours, days and nights, months at large.. just to get one glimpse of what you want, just to get that one shimmering, glittering smile on your face. The end result sure is mesmerising but the process it takes you through can be really testing.

Now that I have the one thing I've wanted for a really long time, and my path ahead looks a little bit clearer, I can't help but wonder how getting the mother of all stresses off my mind might also be a dreadful thing. Since the last couple of days, my mind has been really, really hard to restrain. I'm a rebel in my truest form. I do what I'm told not to, I do what I know I shouldn't. I feel something so right by doing the wrong thing, I feel something so wrong by doing the right thing. So obviously, when I don't have something extremely important weighing me down, my mind wanders and I end up getting pulled towards the "Dont's" instead of the "Do's".

This time, I don't even have the willpower to resist. Its been a long time since I last had a free fall. Guess its time to let go again. :)

Comments

Post a Comment

What do you think?

Popular posts from this blog

||Labels..

'Introvert!' 'She's not much of a people person.' 'He's weird.' 'Annoying.' 'Perfect!' How dare you? How dare you limit an entire person, his whole life, her complete individuality to a single word? How do you describe a person you have barely, superficially known for only a chunk of his lifetime in a few, simple words? Is this why we have eulogies? To make up for all the limiting things we say about people when they're alive. Is it a way to apologise for trying to put down a number on the distance between their being and the horizon? Are we trying to make up for the infinite possibility in them that we carelessly ignore? 'How would you describe your personality?' 'I'm lazy. I prefer pulling up my blanket to turning off the fan 'cause the switch isn't an arm's length away. I put down books when I don't love them anymore because they remind me of how my preferences change....
1 comment
Read more

||Is it really that hard?..

Case I : Our nights have grown shorter. We don't talk as much as we used to. We're too busy in our own worlds to even care if we miss each other. We don't reply to each other's messages. When one tries to converse, the other doesn't feel like it. Is it really that hard to take a little time to appreciate what we have? Or is it what we had? Case II : I don't wait for you to come online. You don't have time to listen to my worries any more. We don't talk about our career plans and insecurities together. You don't have time to feel protective of me anymore. Was it really that hard to keep up an innocent friendship? Case III : I looked at you from a distance and recognised your familiar face. I have it etched somewhere in my heart. I can sketch you smiling even when I'm half asleep. Your smile is what kept my world bright. Now I just have to endure the darkness with a sense of defeat. Is it really that hard to speak up your mind, for on...
Post a Comment
Read more

||Fall, Comfort Shows and Escapism..

As I find myself three seasons into my favourite show again, I involuntarily see the patterns and lack thereof every time I’m inclined to watch it.  Gilmore Girls. If you seek me out on a random day and ask me my favorite show, you may never get the same answer twice. I don’t like being held down to favorites and my mood swings like a chandelier most days. But if you ask me which show I gravitate towards most, this is the one I’ll quote. If you see me talking in weird phrases and references that don’t make sense, this show is the culprit. Having watched it over 7 times in just 3 years, it amazes me how I’ve watched F.R.I.E.N.D.S. way less times even though it might be the show I look to for comfort. If you ask me what I watch when I’m sad, I’d probably say This is Us. Somewhere between the spectrum where one end is F.R.I.E.N.D.S. and the other This is Us, smushed between How I Met Your Mother, Suits, The Office, New Girl, and a number of other shows I like to rewatch, is Gilmore Gi...
Post a Comment
Read more