||What's past is past..

This trip home has been good, great even. There were some things I wanted to do which I couldn't, but apart from that it was an actual let's say, homecoming. I did do one thing I'm still regretting - went through my old diary. And I'm stuck wondering why didn't I burn or tear the pages of that one like I used to do with almost every diary of mine. Like many others, I have this excitement at the begin writing a new journal every year. This excitement lasts, at max for a month. After a month, there're just random notes and day entries. After around August, I generally lose interest and stop writing. Its an annual routine, and I'm not too proud of it.

So enough about my writing habits, this diary I read was about the time I was in Senior School and I always refrain from going back and thinking about that time. Its not that it was too unpleasant, those two years were a bittersweet combination of hell and heaven for me. In those two years I gained and lost the most important thing in my life, consecutively. A couple days back when I read the diary, I was reminded of why we're supposed to get past our past and live in the present. Taking trips to the past can NEVER make you happy. If it was good, you'll be upset about why it isn't that good now and if it wasn't, well there's no mystery why you won't like it.

The worst thing is, I still couldn't bring myself to burn those pages. :)

Comments

||Labels..

'Introvert!' 'She's not much of a people person.' 'He's weird.' 'Annoying.' 'Perfect!' How dare you? How dare you limit an entire person, his whole life, her complete individuality to a single word? How do you describe a person you have barely, superficially known for only a chunk of his lifetime in a few, simple words? Is this why we have eulogies? To make up for all the limiting things we say about people when they're alive. Is it a way to apologise for trying to put down a number on the distance between their being and the horizon? Are we trying to make up for the infinite possibility in them that we carelessly ignore? 'How would you describe your personality?' 'I'm lazy. I prefer pulling up my blanket to turning off the fan 'cause the switch isn't an arm's length away. I put down books when I don't love them anymore because they remind me of how my preferences change....

||Is it really that hard?..

Case I : Our nights have grown shorter. We don't talk as much as we used to. We're too busy in our own worlds to even care if we miss each other. We don't reply to each other's messages. When one tries to converse, the other doesn't feel like it. Is it really that hard to take a little time to appreciate what we have? Or is it what we had? Case II : I don't wait for you to come online. You don't have time to listen to my worries any more. We don't talk about our career plans and insecurities together. You don't have time to feel protective of me anymore. Was it really that hard to keep up an innocent friendship? Case III : I looked at you from a distance and recognised your familiar face. I have it etched somewhere in my heart. I can sketch you smiling even when I'm half asleep. Your smile is what kept my world bright. Now I just have to endure the darkness with a sense of defeat. Is it really that hard to speak up your mind, for on...

||Fall, Comfort Shows and Escapism..

As I find myself three seasons into my favourite show again, I involuntarily see the patterns and lack thereof every time I’m inclined to watch it. Gilmore Girls. If you seek me out on a random day and ask me my favorite show, you may never get the same answer twice. I don’t like being held down to favorites and my mood swings like a chandelier most days. But if you ask me which show I gravitate towards most, this is the one I’ll quote. If you see me talking in weird phrases and references that don’t make sense, this show is the culprit. Having watched it over 7 times in just 3 years, it amazes me how I’ve watched F.R.I.E.N.D.S. way less times even though it might be the show I look to for comfort. If you ask me what I watch when I’m sad, I’d probably say This is Us. Somewhere between the spectrum where one end is F.R.I.E.N.D.S. and the other This is Us, smushed between How I Met Your Mother, Suits, The Office, New Girl, and a number of other shows I like to rewatch, is Gilmore Gi...

Nostalgia Engulfed...

Search This Blog