Nostalgia Engulfed...

I wake up in the middle of the night, disoriented, expecting to find a study table next to my bed, my Pooh cushion somewhere nearby and my laptop next to my pillow streaming downloads. Instead I'm lying in a double bed, diagonally nonetheless, hogging as much space as a slender twenty-one year old kid like me possibly can. I unlock my phone screen, blink twice to adjust my eyes to its brightness and look at the time. Its literally the middle of the night, three am on the dot. I try to think what woke me up. The last thing I can remember before I drifted off to restless dreamland is my choked nose. I remember skipping dinner to my parents' utter dislike, but the cold made me want to rest more than anything else, more than wanting to have home-made food. I detest going to see a doctor, so I tend to ignore trivial ailments like a common cold (too common in my case, gets invited every time the weather changes) like they are ladybugs on a flower. Creepy, red with black polka d...

A smile can speak a thousand things if you just pay enough attention. Especially with girls! They say girls are complicated, true, no more than guys though. So anyway, its true what they say about girls never really speaking their mind. But if you just looked at her smile, you'd know what she's really thinking. At first sight, its just a plain old smile.. think again, its not. With girls, there are a thousand different kinds of smiles. There are few which might appear often. There's that one smile which will always steal your heart. It spreads wide across her face and makes her eyes crinkle and shine. Its the one most easily recognised yet the rarest of them all. Its the 'ecstatic' smile, the real deal. If you can make her smile like that, she probably trusts you and is actually happy about having you around. Then there's the other kind, that doesn't reach her eyes, one where she seems to be smiling but her eyes say otherwise. Its the sad smile, she...

She fidgeted with her hands, traced the green nail paint on her finger nails. Then she took another look at the clock's hands, just about five minutes had passed since she last did that. The clock made its signature tick-tock-tick sounds but it still gave her no comfort, the time just wasn't passing soon enough. "Nine thirty-five", she murmured to herself with a sigh, and started locking and unlocking her phone screen repeatedly. Anything to take her mind off of the pressure she was under right then. After another minute, she couldn't take it anymore, she looked at the five other anxious faces in the room and another bored one, then swiftly walked out of the conference hall that was allotted to her as a waiting room. She stepped onto the balcony-like pathway that joined two blocks of the same building, slightly higher than the ground floor level. She walked a few steps then leaned on the railing. The cold breeze made her shiver and she wrapped her arms aroun...

Its been a long, long time since I last wrote and believe me I've had my reasons. Its been a really stressful time and it has completely drained me of all the patience I had. For the last few months, everything that I've wanted has had waiting as a prerequisite. Although it sounds pretty mainstream, patience is not an easily acquired trait. Waiting for long hours, days and nights, months at large.. just to get one glimpse of what you want, just to get that one shimmering, glittering smile on your face. The end result sure is mesmerising but the process it takes you through can be really testing. Now that I have the one thing I've wanted for a really long time, and my path ahead looks a little bit clearer, I can't help but wonder how getting the mother of all stresses off my mind might also be a dreadful thing. Since the last couple of days, my mind has been really, really hard to restrain. I'm a rebel in my truest form. I do what I'm told not to, I do what...

The last time I made a post about the most sought after wizard of all times, Harry Potter, I promised I'd write more about that world of magic. Considering the fact that I've watched The Prisoner of Azkaban about thrice over this weekend, courtesy the Warner Bros. Channel, I thought it rather apt to bump the topic. The third part in the series, it features Sirius Black as the main character and quite appropriate to be showing around fathers' day. Because according to me, he's one of the most awesome dad-figures ever to be created in the history of fiction. Right now, I'm on the scene where Hagrid introduces Buckbeak to the whole class. The scene where Harry takes a ride, the scene of Buckbeak's flight is exhilarating! Anyway, I digress, well we all know that. The expression on Harry's face every time he hears something about his parents shows so much longing, so much love! Near the end of the movie, (now I'm not speaking of the books here because a...

What's more sad than the Naxalites attacking the (stupid! Yes, I wouldn't change my mind about that whatever you say.) politicians, is the ignorance people, especially the youth in our state have for such incidents. Simply mourning for the loss of lives doesn't mean you've served your purpose. Try getting a little deeper into the matter rather than just skimming through the facts on the surface. Yes, there can never be any crime worse than taking lives, innocent or otherwise. But they're extremists! That's what they do. Trying to prove your own worth against the threats, was that what Congress was trying to do? They say they had been provided with minimal security. Well then, if you KNEW that, why would you do something as such? Yes, they're the biggest internal threat to the country but being proud brats wouldn't solve that problem, would it? I mean, for heaven's sake, the very person who started the very popular, AND criticised, 'Salwa Judo...

Well, I hope so. I have been chanting this for a long time now but I can never go through with it. And I'm not sure but maybe its because I don't want to. Everyday is another puzzle piece. Not seeing you makes me anxious. Seeing you makes me take an involuntary about turn. By now, I'm an obvious mess. I'm too deep in my own misery yet I can't see that crease on your forehead without getting antsy. There are days I want to block you out of my mind, and then there are other days where I'm tired enough to just give up. Its so annoying, and heartbreaking and frustrating, you probably have no idea! Because if you did, you wouldn't be how you are. I choose to believe that because I really don't have an option here. If I believe otherwise, well then there's just no meaning to a part of my life that does mean a lot to me. I can't just render those precious moments meaningless just because you decided to turn your back on me. It would help a lot f y...

I've read ample posts that say "We don't live, all we do is exist." Today I know the reason why that happens. We worry too much about others, people in our lives, people we want in our lives and people we miss in our lives. There are moments when we think.. 'This is what I want to do' but our judgement is immediately clouded by thoughts of what others would think if we went ahead and actually did it. I say do it. However silly it seems, however many heads it may turn, if it makes you happy, just do it already! Because the people you're thinking about, trust me, there's a ninety five percent chance they're not thinking about you. And if they are, they won't mind. I've read that if you love someone, let them go. I say if they still don't care, give them a piece of what it feels like. You don't always have to be the bigger person you know. You can't always keep others before yourself. If its killing you inside, let it rip, ...